. The Do’s and Don’ts
The general rule in fiction writing is to eliminate as many adverbs as possible, and replace them with stronger, more specific words. Writing coaches all over the world are in agreement that using adverbs in dialogue tags qualifies as lazy writing often notable from novice, inexperienced authors. Adverbs in dialogue tags tend to tell the reader how he should think or feel, instead of the author making an effort to allow the character’s words and actions to paint the picture or evoke emotion in the reader.
What are adverbs and can you use them in your writing? Do you often feel you have to pepper your writing with adverbs to make your character’s demeanour clear, just in case you couldn’t quite crack it in the dialogue?
Adverbs are those words ending in ‘–ly’, often used to modify the verb – “he said angrily” or “he said hastily” or “she said gently”. When you describe how a character says or does something, you take away the power from their spoken words, as their emotions and body language become insignificant to the reader. Good writing, however, does not need adverbs to help your readers understand how your characters think or feel. Your dialogue should be strong enough to convey that emotion by itself.
Here’s an example:
“Get out of my house!” he said angrily.
“Get out of my house!” he said through gritted teeth.
The first example uses an adverb to communicate the feeling/emotion, basically telling the reader what he should feel, while the second uses an action. It is also ‘telling’ instead of ‘showing’. The second example tells the reader that the character is angry, without the writer stating it in the dialogue tag. The action itself (through gritted teeth) is brief; it eliminates the adverb and conveys the character’s emotion. This type of writing also helps to mold memorably vivid characters with distinct voices.
The function of dialogue tags is to tell us when a character is speaking, which character is speaking, and also helps to break long, winding dialogue. Some readers do not even notice dialogue tags; they simply read over them. A good writer would use a dialogue tag to insert body language, an action or a reaction, and this is not something a reader can easily miss. Without the reader being the wiser, you have conveyed the emotion and tone of the dialogue to the reader.
It is not an entirely bad idea to use adverbs. When you feel you have to, then use them sparingly, as long as they do not interrupt the flow in the story. This can be in instances where an adverb can easily replace a long sentence that is pregnant with character actions and body language. While some readers may not be irked by the use of adverbs, refrain from overusing them because you are not writing for just one reader – a host of other readers might pick up your book. Strike a balance that would accommodate a wide variety of readers and tastes.
There are, however, instances when an adverb cannot be avoided, such as when you find yourself writing dialogue for a character that is being sarcastic or polite. Picture a barman declining payment from a lady that he has taken a liking for at the bar.
“Nah, your money is not good enough here,” he said politely.
To some readers, the above dialogue might not be clear; the reader might think the barman suspects the lady’s money might be fake. A reader who gets it, though, would not be irked by the adverb, even though he realises that the barman is being polite. The reader might be so amused by the dialogue, he wouldn’t even notice the adverb.
Picture the same barman, now emboldened to shoot his shot, but the lady isn’t as charmed by his advances.
“So, how about I take you out tomorrow might?” he asked.
“Ask me again in ten years, I might say yes,” she said nonchalantly.
Again, a savvy reader would know immediately that the lady is in fact being sarcastically indifferent, but for a reader that isn’t as savvy, the adverb ‘nonchalantly’ has replaced writing a long-winded action that describes her aversion to the barman’s advances.
Writing coaches also advise against the use of synonyms for ‘said’, such as ‘he urged’, ‘he opined’, ‘he quizzed’ or ‘he lamented’. Again, when you have to use them, do so sparingly instead of littering them generously on every page. Make a habit of sticking to ‘said’ and ‘asked’ and steer clear of adverbial overuse.
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