BOOK #1: I AM ALSO A WOMAN
By Zeripah Phiri
ISBN: 978-1-77626-078-2
Pages: 140
Publisher: PUBLISH’D AFRIKA
While her peers had already forgotten how many times they had gone through their monthly menstrual circles, Zeripah Phiri still hadn’t seen hers, and she was already 19 going on 20. But she didn’t think much of it. She believed she might have been a late bloomer. After all, she had always been skinny and petite growing up, and even her breasts hadn’t fully developed by the time she turned 18.
It wasn’t until she got married at 21, that the matter of her menstrual period became a sore point in her marriage. She also found that she and her husband couldn’t consummate their marriage – he just couldn’t penetrate her even after using the best lubricants money can buy. Doctors also couldn’t help, so they turned to prophets and traditional healers – with disastrous results.
“One sangoma accused my grandmother of having cast a spell on me and magically stole my womb,” says Zeripah, reminiscing. “Another instructed me to insert a coarse corn cob into my vagina three times a day, in combination with an assortment of concoctions, in a bid to widen my vaginal walls. You can imagine how painful that was.”
On the home front, the in-laws were understandably unhappy that their makoti still hadn’t conceived, two years into the marriage. Zeripah’s father-in-law went as far as to urge his son to take a second wife, as he couldn’t bear the thought of ‘a piece of furniture occupying space in my son’s house’. Needless to say, it wasn’t long before the husband started having a wandering eye, eventually starting a secret relationship with a woman who was known to the family.
‘I Am Also A Woman’ is a true-life story of Zeripah Phiri, who was born without a womb, a condition known as MRKH. It is a rare congenital disorder that affects the female reproductive system. It is characterised by an underdeveloped vagina and uterus. The uterus may be small or absent, and the vagina is typically shortened, hence her husband couldn’t penetrate her. The condition affects one in 5000 women worldwide.
“I was already married when I discovered I suffered from this condition,” says Zeripah. “It basically means I can’t conceive even if I wanted to, and that I had wasted thousands on zangoma, fake prophets, quacks and traditional healers, who all had convinced me that they could cure me. Funny enough, shortly after I published the book, I even got offers from men who vowed that their manhoods were divine and that they could give me a baby after just one night in bed with them.”
Most women with this – at least those who are in relationships and are aware that they suffer from MRKH – find themselves having to use vibrators not because they have the urge for sex, but because the vagina tends to close up if not penetrated for an extended period of time.
“Those who are married or in relationships, who have husbands or partners who work far from home, have to continuously ‘service’ themselves with vibrators,” says Zeripah. “If they don’t, intercourse with their partners will be a painful, horrendous experience on their return.”
Zeripah says she wrote the book to share her life story, to teach others her perspective and prove to herself that she is not alone. She believes there are others who will whisper, “Me too”. She has decided to come out of the proverbial closet, express and pour out her heart without interruption.
“I believe that by doing this, I will be able to reach out to a lot of people going through the same reality as mine; women who bore the brunt from the same syndrome but are not ready to open up,” she says. “I feel that opening up your wounds helps in healing.”
“In this book, I share my life story, what I went through until the day I took the bold decision to talk about my condition. I must say, this journey of infertility is so draining at times, but I have learnt not to let my crown fall.”
PUBLISH'D AFRIKA 